This Stinks

For awhile now there has been stress in my family beyond the norm. and I have always thought of myself as strong, especially physically. That is till recently when the stress became to much and I became sick. My hubby was terrified my left arm hurt, I felt nauseous, Felt like was going to pass out, and slept for hours. He rushed me to my doctor. Here's a little problem with me having an issue with my heart my heart rate/pulse and pressure always run very low, it is a trait from my mom. So when they get me in they say ....Your vitals are with in normal range ( i.e. not normal for me) the doctor says he could run tests but felt better with me going home and resting to make sure it was not a virus showing strange symptoms because I was also dehydrated ( actually normal for me I hate the taste of water and frequently forget to drink much because I am not thirsty). One stipulation I had to  rest no stress, no running around etc. just in case. Hubby to the rescue as usual ( he really is a wonderful guy). I was banned from stress inducing situations, could not even look at stressful things. Enter sister L and my mom who call to check on me. Sister L calls and talks to my hubby about what is going on and tells him that I need to get on some very specific meds to help me not stress and keep my blood pressure on even kilter. Turns out my symptoms are just like hers and it took nearly a year for it to be figured out. I told her she did not need to share her illness with me. I was fine feeling sorry for her. haha. She and my hubby started talking and remembered in high school I had a passing out issue. It seemed to clear up but apparently it just  went dormant until the stress in my life was to much for me. Lucky me. I also have a fun thing that when I am physically hurt bad like cut my finger to the bone or having my hand slammed shut in a car door I am okay for a minute then I turn pale and start to pass out. Lame right. Well I think so because mentally I am fine but my body obviously is freaking out,of course I started feeling better and blowing off stress or avoiding it all together till recently when it has built back up in my life. So guess what I have not been feeling good. I have been getting worked up and husband literally yells at me to stay calm ( because he is scared for me).  So I guess my lesson is that it doesn't matter how strong you think you are when your body has had enough it has had enough. Now I am on my way to a healthier less stressed me!

Backstory - meeting and marrying my husband

 So as I said before I met my husband in high school through my brother. I was 15 yrs old  and he was16 when we met. I still remember the night he told me he liked me ( encouraged by the fact my sisters S and L ,had already told him how much I liked him) As he stumbled through my brother and sisters ( S and L) were on the roof of our home throwing dog food at us. The poor guy I now know  was very nervous and I did not make it easy for him to say it by playing stupid and made him actually say the words - "Would you like to go on a date with me?"  I told you I was pretty awful as a teen. My brother was ticked when I said yes, cause I always date them and then break up with them and he had to hear about it. I nearly drove B crazy the first week calling like an obsessed teen girl ( go figure). We only broke up 2x's but fairly quickly came back together. We had become quickly connected. At 17 I moved out of my home and into his apartment with him.Again poor guy had no idea what he was getting into. I was nuts. He wanted to go party with his neighbor , who did not like me,like a normal teen boy and I was certain he was going to cheat on me with her.  After about a year  I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We got married earlier than we had expected but I would not change that for a minute.  We had a stormy first few years he was an alcoholic and out partying, I  was codependent  and clingy ( basically crazy ). We both cheated on each other, did and said awful things to each other. During this time we had 2 more kids. We were near the point of divorce.Then something amazing. My husband started seeing a Christian councilor and going to church. He started reading his bible and got saved. He stopped drinking.  Now you would think this saved our marriage but it almost did the opposite. I was so used to the muck of what we had been doing that when he started acting right I actually rebelled. I started trying to get him to drink. Called him church boy and NED Flanders ( yes from the Simpsons). Then I noticed how much nicer things actually were and the real change in him ( unlike other times when he said he was going to stop drinking and turn things around). This is where I started going to church too. Our home life was so much better. Then I was saved and baptized by my husband, who was now an associate pastor. Did you see that coming? I would have never seen it, but it did. Now we have a very happy marriage. We have awesome tools to get us through conflicts ( our fights now look ridiculous to friends now because they are no more than intense discussion). On our 10th Anniversary we renewed our vows ( this time as Christians and fully understanding the gravity of the vows we were taking before GOD)and went to Jamaica for a honeymoon. Come Jan.11 it will be 15 years and he is my best friend and closest confidant , even though we are complete opposites.

Backstory - childhood

I thought I would right some back stories about me. So you could get to know me better. I was born to my mom and dad and I have 1 full blood (S)sister. After my parents divorced they both remarried. This opened the door to a lot more siblings and a very big family. With my dad and step-mom I have two half sisters - (C andST). Both of them are a lot younger than me but are very neat girls! With my mom and step-dad I gained 2 step siblings 1 brother(P) and 1 sister(P), my step sister is much older than me and my brother is basically the same age he was born at the beginning of the year and I was born at the end. Then I have 1 half sister (L) from them as well. If you ask me though they are all just my brother and sisters.  I lived with my dad till 9th grade and then I moved to my mom's. At that point in my life I was a teen girl and had lost my mind. To the dismay of my  brother I dated a lot of his friends, but we got along well. That is how my met my now husband (B)though. I had met him a summer before and then re-met him after I moved in. My brother was ticked. That story is for my next post though. So now you know I have a huge family and now most of those siblings have husbands or boyfriends and most of them have kids. Which makes my family huge and get togethers on either side pretty much a small event.

MYM For 4 Love of CupCakes

I handmade all  of my Christmas presents for my sisters. I made two of them gauntlets ( fingerless gloves) and then a hat for another. I knitted them all. I have picked that back up and love it. I am supposed to take pictures of some more I have made this week. I plan on selling them on my website the only problem is I keep getting requests for them faster than I can make them. My BIL all requested some after they saw my sisters items. Plus my husband wants his. Then there are customers. I am so grateful to be able make and sale things I love and to do it with 2 of my sisters who are also very crafty.  SOon I will have to post pictures of their items.
So this week is more gauntlets and hats, but also my ClaireBear got craft kits this Christmas an I promised I would do them with her.

New to this

So I have had a blog before but it was purely business. This time I will have some business but also some personal because they are really one in the same.  It brings up some complications for me though. How much do I share and how  little? I don't need any stalkers finding me or my kids but with out enough info then my stories just might be pointless boring dribble. Also when it comes to conflicts with people in my life do I share them, as I hope to make a strong fan base that feels connected to me, or do I leave that out. If I do share how much would be to much? Also do I need anymore headaches if I do share and it cause things to become worse? That leads to another worry what if someone interprets my thoughts as something awful geared towards them. Then what? Oh I am so new to this side of it. I sure hope this works out. I am excited about it and I am really thankful my friends who suggested I write a blog. Hopefully I do well and they don't regret suggesting to me.