Friday, September 28, 2012


I love Slam Poetry. I love the rhythm , the intensity and raw honesty of the poets words as they flow from their lips. I Love Slam Poetry and the emotion of a simple thought expanded upon and made full. Watching the poets feelings bleed from them as they pour out their word on to their audience. Seeing in their movements , gestures and I eyes " Please GOD get me, feel this too" I love Slam Poetry how it can sweep me way to a dark smoke filled jazz  room  or into the closet spying on the poet as they live. I love Slam Poetry because whether you agree with the poem or not you understand the poet just a little bit  more. Here are some that I found.
My love is deep and penetrating. Subterranean.
Large, thick, slow, deliberate, vulgar, low, archetypal, animalistic.
Ripe for splitting open, to be savored, enjoyed.
I am a pomegranate.
And you.
You are everything that ever was
And everything that ever shall be.
I could pray to you.
And, so it begins.
You take me in your arms and fold me like a fan.
You lead me about the room.
My body is pliant, supple. Your hands
stretch wide across my belly, self-assured.
Even your fingers are confident.
We are groveling.
Sinking deeper into it.
Slathering each other with it.
And then, I feel it.
It is traveling through my bowels
Like a vengeful eggplant on fire,
Violently pushing and gurgling its way
through my lower intestine.
Mocking my sensuality.
For a moment I am shaken.
How can this be? I was so careful at dinner.
Oh God, the cauliflower.
Why? On this day of all days.
The day I wear the crown of woman.
I travel through time.
Suddenly I am 9 years old, in Sister Mercede’s
4th grade class. And Christi Romalo,
with her ample bosom and hairy upper lip,
Tells me I’m not cool enough to be in the
7-Up club. And all my mother can tell me is,
“ Honey, sometimes life just isn’t fair.”
For a moment I fantasize
Just letting it rip.
Will you liken me to some winsome peasant?
Will you love the honesty of it?
Maybe you’ll think I’m earthy.
Next, I imagine standing up,
Clutching the bedpost and proudly declaring,
“ It is I, Flatula!”
Would that frighten you, my love?
My muscles tighten
And I begin to pray, Sweet Baby Jesus
Let your light shine through me and
Neutralize this demon squash-like gas.
I feel an enormous thrust. Is it over?
You cover me with kisses and tenderly pat my thigh.
I tense up and hope for a miracle.
I whisper, “Sweet dreams, my love.”
Barely able to contain the monster inside me.
You begin to snore.
I press myself against the wall,
Adhering my buttocks firmly to it
And say twenty-seven Hail Marys.
I relax for one tiny moment and it moves,
And I am thrown from the bed.
Dear God help me!
A loose chunk of plaster breaks from the ceiling
And flies through the air.
I try to throw myself in front of it.
I try to cheat fate.
But it is too late.
Too late my love.
The plaster chunk delivers
A cruel but swift death.
I cradle your dented head in my arms and I weep.
I weep for the cruelty of fate,
The loss of true love,
And my lack of muscle control.
I blame myself.
--Ritah Parrish

I Wore a Coin in My Shoe When We Got Married
me and my man: we are a good kinda dirty room—
the kind where nothing’s in its place
but you know just where to find it
we are hit and run, hurricane done been through here
when no one was lookin’ maybe we been robbed!
kinda messy but, hell –
you could eat offa the floor if you could find it.
we’s jars of pennies on the bedside
we’s saved by pocket change in sofa cushions, and a
whole lotta makin’ do -- a whole lotta makin’ do –
makin’ breakfast outta cigarettes
makin’ dinner outta dancin’ and diet coke
leave the chicken in the freezer for a party--
PARTY! defrost the bird, make a party outta potluck,
so everyone eats well.
on our first anniversary we will eat wedding cake
we’re stickin’ dollars in please-forget-me places
and mama askin’ on the phone
--when you gonna do something with that degree?
reply: --we’re workin’!—
makin’ wings outta words and earthworms
makin’ wind outta newspaper and colored glass
& we make us get by
don’t ask me what we gonna do when winter comes
see -- snow is for sledding
and green is for gardens
grow hope grow strong
grow black-eyed susans & carrots & rosemary
grow fat yellow melons, and joy just seems to follow!
dance hip to hip in the flour for baking
and the rent just seems to happen!
we’s a beautiful round and sloppy kinda getting’ by
this ain’t no skinny love – it’s substantial and fat
(how fat is it? this love’s so fat that it’s qualified
to sing the solo in church on sunday!)
books and love letters shift beneath our feet
like autumn falls from trees
leaves us nekkid and nekkid’s easy –
you know just what to do with it,
like a song you wrote yourself!
(we make so much nookie, we gotta
save it in jars in the attic!)
mama PLEASE stop askin’ when we gonna
make somethin’ outta ourselves. See,
we already makin’ a whole lotta somethin’
outta practically nothin’!

--Sou MacMillan

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

New Hair New Attitude

I have an awesome sister who does my hair. When we get together it is like the great experiment of what fantastical thing we can come up with next. We had done Blonde with Red. I loved it very much but the red kept fading out and people kept saying " Oh I live the pink'....Now I have pink. My sister did it in an Ombre style. Which means it fades from the white to a darker pink on the bottom.  It is funny when I wash my hair. I have to wash it in cold so I get  it done before I actually get in the water. Which usually means leaning over the tub to wash my hair. Now for some reason my youngest has decided that this means mommie wants her to come sit on her back. Yes my youngest still manages to get in the bathroom when I am trying to shower because if you turn the handle on my bathroom just right there is no point to the lock and she knows this. I love this new style and so does my husband. I am so blessed to have him.  To have a husband that gets you and loves you all the same is a very comforting thing. My husband does this for me all the time. He even supports my craziness in some cases.  The interesting thing about having hair like mine is that you really get to see who people really are. My husband and I have visited a church a few times since I have colored my hair this color and these "Christian" people will smile from a distance but refuses to come up and talk to me or my husband " who also has longer hair". We have both caught the disapproving looks they try to hide and have even heard some of their remarks. None of this really does not bother me.It is Not the first time I have had some odd looks or rude remarks said (I have even have had some said straight to my face) but it does make me wonder. These people are claiming to want to grow in their community. They are claiming to have the love of Christ in them.  Here a few verses that come to mind for me when I meet  a woman ( or man) who may not look as I would have them to.

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Proverbs 31:3

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

 and Finally   

1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

Another thing to remember what is good and normal in your area, town, state, or country may not be so in other places.  Heck even people from different generations will have different ideas on what is appropriate. So who should be the judge on whether a person is worthy of joining the body? Who should be the judge on who you show kindness too? I have always believed that churches are not a place for the well and the saved but are a place for the sick,needy and unsaved. If you are to wrapped up in appearance to see what GOD might see maybe you need to turn the mirror around on yourself  and take a good look at yourself. I am not saying I am perfect because sure I stumble and start to form an idea of a person base on their appearance but I try to quickly dissolve that idea and find one thing I like about that person and to tell them. You would not believe the joy you can spread by simply telling a stranger something nice. Well I will get off my soap box now. I will share some pictures of my new look. I love the rosettes my sister put in my hair. Also please be kind I hate posing for pictures. I never know what to do with myself.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Back in the saddle again

So I have been gone awhile. I have been so busy and life has taken some interesting turns for me. Let's see I have learned to let go of issues that were hurting me and to recognize that sometimes things are unfixable. I had to learn that sometimes you have to just stop, to know you have done what you can and just stop. I have been set on a journey of finding my joy. I have been focusing on being content in my life and the blessings that continuously fill it instead of those calling outside my gate trying to lead me astray and hurt me. My two side businesses have begun to flourish. My husband and I have met some awesome new friends and reconnected with old ones. My older kids summer was filled with camps and now their schedule has gone from slow to very full with church, drama and dance all added to their homeschooling schedule. I am allowing myself to just be me, quirky and all. I have started going some new routes with my crafting business. I have started screen printing which I love. I love the creativity and messiness of it.  There is something satisfying in being covered in paint and seeing my idea come to life on an item.  I have my new logo which I love.  I have been to learning to better balance running my business and my family. In all of this life has not been easy. My husband was hospitalized for 9 days . I was very scared in the start of his stay. I put on a brave face but I was not sure if he was going to pull through it. It didn't help they had no idea what was wrong only that he was very sick, in an extreme amount of pain and his blood pressure was low ( like internal bleeding low).  I have been through this before. The fear , the single mindedness of your thoughts as you sit by the person you love and watch them writhe in pain while you can do nothing, the tear of pain you feel as you know you must leave to take care of your kids and set some normalcy and comfort up for them and the frenzied need to be there just in case and I have been blessed with the ability to do what I have to, to able to get things done and put on the it's ok face for everyone around me. Happily he got better, despite the doctors never figuring out what was wrong for sure.  Since then it has been miraculous watching him as he has improved. Now he still has RA and aside from a miracle always will. He still wakes up nauseous every morning, still has stiffness, joint pain, high enzymes etc. but now he can get up and take a small walk with me with out paying for it for 3 days. His muscle tone has been coming back and so has his strength.  My husband and I have not had the best financial experiences this summer but GOD always helped us pull through. Thanks to the drought my daughter with asthma had a hard summer trying to keep her allergies under control so we could keep her asthma under control. Our van had issues, including being dingged up by a massive hail storm ( it was both scary and exciting to watch). The list could go on but I don't want to because really that is not where my mind is. It's on my husband made it and is doing marginally better, my kids have full busy schedules, despite having a hard time with allergies my daughter never had a major attack this summer, we have made it financially every month, Our van still runs and therefore can take us from place to place. I am a very blessed woman and that is where I want to keep my mind. I want to be a spark of light in the dark. To be the smiling stranger that just seems to make your day a little brighter. To be kind person that stopped to help. To be the friend that makes you  feel comfortable and at home. To be  the person that in known to be counted on.  To be the best mom I can be. To be the best wife I can. That is where I want to keep my mind.