Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Backstory - meeting and marrying my husband

 So as I said before I met my husband in high school through my brother. I was 15 yrs old  and he was16 when we met. I still remember the night he told me he liked me ( encouraged by the fact my sisters S and L ,had already told him how much I liked him) As he stumbled through my brother and sisters ( S and L) were on the roof of our home throwing dog food at us. The poor guy I now know  was very nervous and I did not make it easy for him to say it by playing stupid and made him actually say the words - "Would you like to go on a date with me?"  I told you I was pretty awful as a teen. My brother was ticked when I said yes, cause I always date them and then break up with them and he had to hear about it. I nearly drove B crazy the first week calling like an obsessed teen girl ( go figure). We only broke up 2x's but fairly quickly came back together. We had become quickly connected. At 17 I moved out of my home and into his apartment with him.Again poor guy had no idea what he was getting into. I was nuts. He wanted to go party with his neighbor , who did not like me,like a normal teen boy and I was certain he was going to cheat on me with her.  After about a year  I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We got married earlier than we had expected but I would not change that for a minute.  We had a stormy first few years he was an alcoholic and out partying, I  was codependent  and clingy ( basically crazy ). We both cheated on each other, did and said awful things to each other. During this time we had 2 more kids. We were near the point of divorce.Then something amazing. My husband started seeing a Christian councilor and going to church. He started reading his bible and got saved. He stopped drinking.  Now you would think this saved our marriage but it almost did the opposite. I was so used to the muck of what we had been doing that when he started acting right I actually rebelled. I started trying to get him to drink. Called him church boy and NED Flanders ( yes from the Simpsons). Then I noticed how much nicer things actually were and the real change in him ( unlike other times when he said he was going to stop drinking and turn things around). This is where I started going to church too. Our home life was so much better. Then I was saved and baptized by my husband, who was now an associate pastor. Did you see that coming? I would have never seen it, but it did. Now we have a very happy marriage. We have awesome tools to get us through conflicts ( our fights now look ridiculous to friends now because they are no more than intense discussion). On our 10th Anniversary we renewed our vows ( this time as Christians and fully understanding the gravity of the vows we were taking before GOD)and went to Jamaica for a honeymoon. Come Jan.11 it will be 15 years and he is my best friend and closest confidant , even though we are complete opposites.