Monday, January 2, 2012

A hard day

Well today I was going to write about something else but I really have this one topic on my mind. Mostly because of the events from today. Addiction is  a hard thing.  My husband was/ is close to ,more than I would have ever thought possible since we left the party life style behind and he went into the ministry, a few people with addictions. His entire ministry people were coming to him for help or to just tell someone of their problem. for some it was alcohol  and for others it was more severe like crack or meth. My husband was/is always there for them. The thing with addiction is that you can give the person with addiction  the best tools but they have to use them. So you have to step back sometimes and let them find bottom. Some never find their bottom and die from their addiction. My husband has already lost some friends in this manner and now it looks like we may being losing another. It breaks his heart to have to know that the next time he is talking about this person will be over them because they  have died. to know he will have to say I loved so and so and I remember them this way, not  this way. The bad was the addiction corrupting the wonderful person with in. Now let me set this straight almost all of us can understand to some level what this person is going through. Many of us has a bad habit we just can't seem to quit for one reason or another. Something we know if we did the opposite we would feel better, but still chose or prefer to do it. Maybe you even make excuses for doing it or cover it up. That is an addiction. Of course these little bad habits are not leading to criminal behavior, probably not changing your personality and would probably be easier for you to quit mentally and physically.  So you would not fully understand it but you can see now that it is not at all easy to come to grips with. Especially when it is your body saying to you I will make you very sick ( possibly even kill you) unless you give me what I want. That is a very scary thing to face.  Now that we all know we can understand on some level it does not mean we should make excuse for them or their behavior. Doing so will only allow them to feel better about it and make you even more sad and miserable. You have to draw the lines and keep them. They have to know that you will not follow them into the muck anymore.  That is very hard to face as well.  The idea that staying away is saying I LOVE YOU, especially when the addict is saying just the opposite.  Also the idea that the last time you see them alive could be this moment and you are saying do not come back till your healthy and clean, because honestly as I have said some never find that bottom, not even a brush with death will make them stop.