Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sweet Something's Sunday

I love Proverbs 31 and reading my bible on how to be a better wife or a better woman. I know last week I covered gossiping and this week I wanted to cover nagging. I know a lot of us * nag* our husbands to *help* us. Before I was saved I nagged my husband to death at times and even to this day I sometimes start to nag my husband until he gently points out to me that I have been doing so.
 I guess we should discuss what is nagging. It is not gently reminding your husband to fix that thing you can't or do that thing he said he would. It is telling him over and over again to *Please* do such and such or just plain demanding it. It is demanding that your spouse do things in your ways only.
   As I was studying this week it came across to me that we call it nagging but really we are being quarrelsome and bucking against the headship that is supposed to be in our homes. I mean think about it; are you telling your spouse something repeatedly because you have to or are you doing it to control the situation? Does nagging at your husband lead to peace or does it lead to frustration? I know there have been times for me that I can answer honestly that I was trying to get my way period and it led to frustration.
 Now I know you are thinking "if I do not tell him to do it repeatedly he wont do it  or he will forget". You are also thinking "I need things done my way because it is the *__________* way because*_________*. I have found out that if I gently remind my husband maybe two times for something he was much quicker at do the things I needed and even volunteering to do things for me with out being asked than when I would drill him over things like a child. I also have found that when I let go and let him get things done his way not only do they still get done but he is much happier about doing them. This is because I have shown that I respect him as we are told to do in the bible. Men thrive on respect ( read Love and Respect for more on this biblical teaching). These teachings are counter to what our society tells us we should do. The nagging in charge wife is revered and the meek and quiet wife is frowned at. We have been told that we deserve our way and we are nothing if we are not demanding to get our way.
   However, the bible teaches us that we are to be like Sarah and she called Abraham *LORD* .She submitted to her husband. We are to submit to our husband as unto the LORD ( you do not have to submit to anything Un-Biblical... ever). In this day we no longer have that particular social standard to call our husbands "Lord" of our household yet we can still do this with our words and actions showing our husbands the proper respect. The Bible teaches we can turn the favor of our husbands towards Jesus just by our actions. Ask yourself  the next time you are nagging at your husband; is this reflecting Christ to my husband?
 There are things we can do like I said before, gently remind your husband. I do have to do this because my husband can be forgetful at times. Just remember this, your tone will set the mood of your conversation. You will get more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Also let go! Not everything has to be done your way. I had a hard time with this when it came to my kids but guess what I let go. The kids are still alive, they have a great relationship with their dad and things got done! Pick your battles is it really worth it. Is the towel on the floor really worth the frustration? Chances are probably not. If you can do it yourself then do it. I got this from Proverbs 31. That woman is not sitting around saying honey do this or that. She is letting her husband do his own thing and she is getting done what she wants/needs done. Lastly if something is important to you and you feel he is not understanding it chances are he's not. You need to calmly talk with him without accusations but stating the way you feel and why. After that chances are he will be more willing to try to help you and listen to you with love and understanding.
I hope this is a great study for you this week it has been for me.

Some of the scripture I studied this week. 

Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:11,27:15-16

1 Peter 3:5-6, 5:5

Ephesians 4:29, 5